Mean Girls....

Girls who are bullies and use "girl agression" (nasty comments, trickery, deceit, excluding people from events, spreading rumors, stealing boyfriends,etc.) to manipulate other girls. They will use text messaging, AIM, email, three-way-calling, and any other weapon at their disposal to acheieve these goals.  These girls are often popular because everyone is either afraid of them or wants to be like them. They tend to have armies of followers ("friends"/wannabees) comprising their clique. However, few people actually like them for who they are.

 http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mean%20girls

Why a blog post on Mean Girls?  It is something I never really understood.  Why girls can be so mean and vicious to each other.  But more importantly it has affected my sister profoundly this past year.  Her senior year of high school.  All because of four girls in her class decided they wanted to be mean to her for no reason.  They have admitted there was no reason and what started out as a *joke* turned into something they didn't know how to stop.  Instead of taking a step back it kept snowballing and got meaner.

Kelsey, my sister, is an amazing person.  She has always been very protective of those she loves and has an never ending love for those she loves and what she believes in.  Even when she was just 5 years old she showed her love for me.  I was pregnant and very sick.  What went in came out just as fast.  One night at the dinner table I took my famous run to the bathroom.  While I was in there she was demanding the car keys from my parents.  SHE was taking me to the hospital because obviously no one else cared how sick I was and it was going on long enough!  That little person is still the same way today 13 years later.  She will do anything and everything for anyone.  From taking extra time at work to help someone out, helping those in school that are having trouble, doing what ever she can to help our mom when she isn't feeling well, to being a great aunt & sister for me.  Even with our 11 years difference I can't even say how many times she has been a rock for me.  Letting me cry on her shoulder and with me when I was scared to learn Isabellas metabolic diseases and when our Alexis was so sick with her kidney problems.  Kelsey even missed 2 days of school to travel to Rochester, MN with me to stay with Olivia and Ethan while I was at the hospital with Alexis as she was having surgery.  I will never forget and always be grateful for everything she has done.  Always willing to get up in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning when I have taken a sick child to the hospital or having another baby while she took care of the rest of my babies.

Kelsey has worked hard through school and has managed to keep her self on the honor roll all the way through!  Even while in sports and working a part time job.  It is now paying off with the notification letters she is now receiving for scholarships!  I am excited to watch her grow even more this next fall when she starts college.  

To say this past year has been miserable for Kelsey is an understatement.  All due to four girls thinking it would be fun to be mean to her.  As adults we all know of mean girls from our youth and still those that never change and are the same as adults.  I wonder if they hate themselves or how their lives are going so much they take it out on someone that has something going for them.  I think some of what hurt Kelsey the most is those that she thought of as friends.  Those that didn't stand by her or say anything.  Some of those that joined in and laughed.  There are a few that did stand by her and didn't give into the the clique that was formed.  To those few I thank you greatly.  You have NO idea how you made going to school bearable for Kels.  As an example, the day that the seniors were to have their pictures taken as small groups for the local newspaper.  It was a day she was dreading and was honestly going to call into school sick that day.  However a test was scheduled and she couldn't miss it so had to suck it up and go to classes.  Those 4 mean girls told everyone not to let Kelsey into their groups for pictures.  They thought it would be *funny* if she had to have a picture taken by herself.  THIS breaks my heart.  Kelsey said as she walked into the gym she had a felt physically sick.  But a wonderful boy in her class yelled for her to come join his group.  Thank you Bucky!  You have no idea how much that simple gesture meant to her and those that love her.   


The past year was so bad in fact that she has chosen not to walk at graduation this Friday.  It isn't to add drama, that is not the type of person she is.  Kelsey would rather let the spot light be on someone else and will slink away from it even if it is her spot light.  It is due to the fact that she doesn't feel part of the class.  Why walk graduation with a group that has been so hurtful and mean?  Why stand up in front of the community as a group when most of that group doesn't deserve to be there.  Those are not fellow classmates nor friends.  It is such a shame because not only does she not deserve this but she is getting many honors.  From scholarships to academic awards for her hard work.  


Upon hearing Kelsey wasn't going to walk at graduation she got a text message from one of those mean girls.  The ringleader I would say.... She told Kelsey that if the reason she wasn't walking was because of them then they would leave her alone the rest of the year.  The rest of the year?  Those whole 5 days they had left of classes.  How nice of her to be so considerate of her feelings.  I guess she would hold back her posse and let Kelsey have a normal "rest of the year".  Where was that back in August when they decided to be the mean girls they are?  


I feel very let down as a parent to my own 5 children and as Kelseys sister.  The school puts on meetings for Bulling yet nothing is done when the bulling is there.  I just don't get it.  Teachers see it and teachers hear about it.  Yet what was done?  Nothing.....  Now all of the sudden they want to jump through hoops to get Kelsey to walk.  It looks bad for the school and for our community.  Yet I am so proud of Kelsey for doing this.  She is taking a stand and now that the cat is really out of the bag, so to speak, the community has to see what is really going on.  Maybe by Kelsey doing this there won't be another Kelsey next year.  Maybe something will  be done ahead of time.  I thank God that Kelsey is as strong as a person that she is and has held her head high through the halls of the school.  I am so thankful Kelsey turned to the few friends that are truly friends and her family.  Sadly some kids aren't that strong.  Some kids don't hold their heads up high.  Some turn to drugs and drinking, flunk out of school, or worse yet.  How many times have we heard of kids killing them selves over something less minor then this?  How many kids have to be treated this way until it will stop?  


Kelsey,


There are no words to say how much I admire you and how proud of you I am.  You have been an amazing sister, friend, aunt, and daughter.  You are someone my own kids can and do look up to.  You have worked hard and it is paying off.  As hard as it has been you have handled it all with class and grace.  You are the better person.  There is not a doubt in my mind that you will only continue succeeding through life.  You truly are a beautiful person inside and out.  I know we have told you many times that they will get theirs and they will.  You might not be right there to see it but it will come.  It may not be to them but it may happen to someone they love.  Then just maybe they will realize how bad it hurts.  


With all my love,
Your FAVORITE sister,


Jen